Kerastase - the hair products of the future

I received an Influenster Voxbox this week in the mail.  It was a busy week between work , work, gym, dog, life, food, sleep.... I haven't had time to even think about blogging.  But today as I sit at my desk I have a few moments to think about this amazing box I received.

First of all, I am a bit of a shampoo snob.  Having a sister in the beauty industry has benefited my mop on my head quite well.  My shower is typically filled with Redken, Kenra, or the latest and greatest.  I was weary to try this Kerastase sample thinking there was no way it would live up to the other hair products I typically use day in and day out.  Well, after a vigorous (and far too early in the morning) workout I jumped into the shower at the gym and gave this stuff a whirl.

First of all, it is so bizarre that the directions are to use the conditioner first.  But hey why not.  I put in the conditioner and let it sit for about a minute and a half.  Rinsed it out and put in the shampoo, concentrating on my roots.  Rinsed that out and bam.... amazing.  My hair was silky smooth!  Not greasy but silky.   I finished my shower and got dressed.  I dried my hair about half way and boogied out the door to work, letting it airdry the rest of the way.

My... hair... looks... GREAT today.  This stuff is really cool!  I highly recommend giving it a try, it is worth the money.  By the way it smells amazing too!

Check out the this video: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y30zEwqBpuk&utm_source=influenster

L'Oréal Paris VoxBox

 L'Oréal Paris VoxBox has arrived 

I have received a few vox boxes from Influenster but this is my favorite in a long time.... My package arrived and I opened it to see full sized bottles of the products to try.  I loved this because you can't use a hair product one day and make an accurate assessment after using a shampoo or product one time.  I need to use it a few times and see how my hair reacts.  Well, let me tell you, these products are pretty great!  

I'll be honest... I am personally spoiled because my sister is a hair dresser and purchases salon products for me so I rarely purchase hair products from a store, HOWEVER.... if I was going to purchase something off the shelf, after trying these for a week this may now be my go-to!   

I have thick straight hair and it is easy to maintain but it tends to sometimes look flat.  These products gave me body and shine which is great.  Try them for yourself for sure - its worth a shot!

Disclaimer: I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes. I was not asked to give any opinion other than my own honest one.  I stand by my opinion and it is 100% honest. 

The VS Sport Bra Experience - Thanks Influenster

Recently I came across this awesome site called Influenster.  According to their website: "Influenster is a community of trendsetters, social media hotshots, and educated consumers who live to give opinions of products and experiences."

One of the first products I was asked to review is the new Victoria's Secret Sports Bra line.  I was sent a sportsbra and also a pair of long tights for free TO KEEP!  I was asked to try them and give them my honest opinion.  No pressure to give positive feedback, they truly wanted to hear what I had to say!  WHOA!  My first thought was... they definitely don't know who they are dealing with :) Haha. No, this was going to be fun and exciting.
My package arrived in the mail about a week later and I was SO excited!  I put on the items, and LOVED the pants.  They are the knockout tights.  they are AMAZING.  

The sportsbra that I received is the VS Sport Incredible.  I wasn't crazy about how it fit at first, but after some adjusting and trying, I realized it really is great.  It is a FULL support sportsbra and it is definitely not short of full support.  At first I felt like I had on a Madonna cone bra, but in the long run I really ended up liking the extra support and would recommend this product to friends for high impact sports or for friends who need extra support due to body type or just preference.  Ultimately for myself.... I will continue to use less support sportsbras for some activities... but for other ones this is the perfect bra to try!  #SportBraBreakup 

It is important that I note that I received this product complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes and that I also earn a contest entry in connection with your post. This is a sponsored blog post. Influenster provided me with complimentary Victoria's Secret products to test and review as part of a contest.  It is a pretty cool opportunity and I am glad I was able to do so!  #Contest #VSSportTester

I can't wait to see what I get to try next.  What a great experience.  And what is also great is that now I know I will forever want to purchase my cold weather leggings from VS SPORT!

Drugs of Choice

I recently attended a conference for my professional career.  One of the key note speakers was Mary Faktor, a professional speaker and certified Self-Esteem/Life Balance Facilitator.  She worked with people such as Jack Canfield (author of the Chicken soup for the soul series) among many others.  I have to admit, although her presentation did not relate much to my professional career, it drove home so many principles and important life lessons that I felt I need to share a few of them with my friends and listeners.  (Mary, if you are listening (or, well, reading), I hope I tell your story in the way that you would like, you are an inspiration to all!)

Today is the first.... She calls is Drugs of Choice.

Everyone has a drug of choice that they turn to when a stressful situation arises.  It may be a way to get back at someone, a way to escape a situation, a way to feel better about yourself, or just a way to be numb.  A drug is not necessarily a drug, although that is also very possible.  It can be illegal drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, gambling.  It can also be exercising, shopping, working, internet, video games, sleeping, sex, staying constantly busy.  Really, it can be anything that takes someone away from the matter or problem at hand which they do not want to deal with.

We all have a drug (or multiple) of choice.  So the question is, what is that doing for us?  How is it helping us cope?  Essentially it isn't helping us cope at all.  It is helping us avoid the situation or conflict, whatever it may be.  The drug of choice keeps us busy or numb and therefore we are either unavailable schedule-wise or unavailable emotionally to deal with whatever the matter is.  If we are too busy or too unavailable, nothing will ever move forward.

I invite everyone to take a moment and understand what your drug of choice (or drugs) may be, think about how it affects the challenges in your life, and think about how there may be windows of opportunity to move past that drug or obstacle to conquer those challenges.  I am not asking anyone to eliminate these elements from your life. Some are necessary for sanity or for functionality.  Just understand where they in excess may bring you limitations... Don't get your drugs of choice stand in your way of moving forward.

Mary has a lot of important lessons and there are more to come.... stay tuned!

The Bad Boy to Prince Charming Project

This morning i received a text from my very close guy friend... 

That girl I told you I was seeing who disappeared on me really pissed me off last night.  We ended things when she told me that she felt no spark with me, even though I was "amazing with how I treated her".... Well that's great and all but then she posts this stupid picture (see below) on Facebook last night!!!!! WHAT IS THAT!!!!!

My poor friend, I felt really bad for him.  But i was dying laughing, because this truly is typical girl behavior, and that's exactly what I said to him.  I said, Yup, typical girl, doesn't surprise me one bit.  He seemed confused, so I tried to break it down for him as simply as possible for him.  Although it could be argued to be a bit more complicated than this, here's the short version:

MOST girls dream of:

Finding a bad boy

Chasing him for a little bit

Changing/fixing/saving him

Then living happily ever after together as his Princess 

If the guy is too nice from day 1:

There is sadly just no "Spark"

He isn't the one

She wants it to work but it just doesn't feel "right"

She isn't ready for a serious relationship

She isn't over her ex

She needs time to be single

She needs to work on herself

The Sad, Sad Reality for us ladies:

No Bad Boy can be "Fixed"

A guy doesnt have to be mysterious (aka sketchy) to be hot

Guys aren't puppies, they don't grow up & change, they are already adults

If a guy treats you one way from day 1, it will probably be that same way for a long time

We aren't in a rodeo, stop trying to lasso a man, you'll be chasing him forever

If you aren't a princess now, what is he going to wake up one day and decide NOW today is the day that you are a princess? Absolutely not. 

You don't REALLY want to marry a bad boy, do you?

 

Ladies - I wish I could tell you all (including me) to WAKE THE HECK UP!!!!! What are we doing? Why can't we feel a spark with the right guys?  Why do we feel the need to fix all the wrong ones?  So many of my wonderful quality smart attractive nice male friends can't find a girl to date, meanwhile all of my beautiful smart successful female friends are off chasing these LOSERS!  

It's really heart breaking but I find that even I have done this many many times, so it seems as though that's our nature today... I have dated guys who wine and dine me till I am blue in the face, who do anything I ask even without me having to ask, buy me flowers for absolutely no reason however they are never "the one."  Then I have dated the guys who steal my money, are completely sketchy, can't get their own life on track, and lie, cheat, or steal, but for some reason, they are more "passionate" or "attractive" for some reason.... seriously I have to laugh.... because what are we doing!?!?!?  I can't foresee myself 80 years old sitting on a couch happy with the bad boy.... but we feel like we are settling with the good guy... it's sadly a lose lose situation gals... we need to get a grip! 

Good Facebook Read...

I love Facebook, I can't pretend that I don't.  But it is frustrating to see horrible writing and horrible spelling day in and day out.  Did you people go to high school   I think so... why don't you know the difference between your their/there/they'res and your no/knows or your two/too/tos....??? Is it that hard?  Did you sleep through third grade??? Possibly.  The other thing that irks me is the people who just post to post... thanks for wasting 10 seconds of my life that I can't get back by reeling me in to read your post that was a complete waste of "pen and paper" (in a digital sense).  This morning I came across a post from my cousin that was so entertaining I just had to share it, because these days they seem to be far and few between.  (not that I have posted anything all that worthwhile myself lately on Facebook... but Nicole's gets a round of applause from me for sure.)  Enjoy! 

A real quality Facebook Post.... One of the most compelling posts I have read in MONTHS.  From my ever so lovely cousin Nicole :)

For the past 4 weeks i have been sitting on my deck at night and watching one of natures "miracles", trying to beat my lifelong arachnophobia. This is an orb-weaver that I christened "Horatio". Every evening at 9 pm he crawled out and built his web, which, admittedly, was pretty awesome to watch. Then I would witness his lightning fast kills throughout the night until exactly at 4:30 am he would rip the entire web down and creep back into his hidey-hole to sleep the day away like a blood-sucking vampire. He was just a little thing at first, but then gradually he grew and grew into the nightmare-ish FREAK OF NATURE you see in these pictures. EEWWWW! As this happened I started to sit farther and farther away, and to get more and more nervous. His downfall came when one night last week I went to go outside and found he had built a HUMAN SIZED web from the deck floor all the way to the top eaves of the house only 3 FEET away from the door! I have NO DOUBT that after watching ME for all that time he intended to trap me, kill me, and eat me! Thus started a fight to the death which included me spraying him repeatedly with Windex while screaming hysterically, cutting his web down with a pair of shears with a 4 foot reach while screaming hysterically, then attempting to beat him to death with a 2 inch circumference iron bar while he whipped up and down on a single strand of silk (while screaming hysterically). I must have looked like I was pulling major strikes in a wiffle-ball game! Needless to say one of my wild swings finally connected and PLOP, down he went. When he reared his nasty legs up at me in a final aggressive confrontation, my terror exploded and with one mighty blow of my weapon SMUSH, Horatio was no more. RIP, thanks for the entertainment you NASTY DISGUSTING MONSTER.......Now I am moving to another town to escape the wrath of his brethren....

Cinderella

So, I watched Cinderella tonight for the first time since elementary school.  Thank you Time Warner Cable.  The first thing I noticed was the fact that I have never watched the video with commercials before.  The second thing I noticed was that I haven't watched the movie since DVD's existed.

Cinderella was one of the first movies I ever owned.  Tonight I felt as though I was watching a movie through a telescope.  Watching the movie on my TV at home about 20 years after I saw it for the first time was the most bizarre thing I've done.  I felt like I wasn't actually watching the movie, it was as if i was watching myself watch the movie years ago.  It was so strange.  I felt things that i was "supposed to feel:" but not because i actually did, it was because I consciously felt as if i was supposed to.... REALLY WEIRD.... I remember being so engaged in the movie, when she was dancing with prince charming i felt as though I was the one dancing with prince charming.  Last night all I thought about when I was watching them dance was how crazy it is that technology changes so quickly.  The animation was so archaic and his face looked so brown, so non-realistic.  It was like watching a flip book or a moving drawing.  Hilarious...

Secrets Don't Make Friends

The trouble with secrets is that they are meant to be told... 

How do you find out about a secret?  Someone tells you.  Then what are you supposed to do with that burning desire to share the priceless news with someone else?  Tuck it away in your pocket like a lucky penny?  Sure, maybe that is what the teller intended you to do, but that's not realistic.  Often times the new holder of the information believes it seems harmless to share their newly found present with a close relative or friend... then down the line that comes back to bite them. 

So, when is it okay to divulge the information to "just one close friend" and when is it necessary to 100% pretend you never heard it?  That is a tough one.  I am sure the person who told you expects you to tell absolutely no one, but then again, they told you, so they did exactly what they are hoping you won't. They should know as soon as they open their mouth to you that it is only human nature for you to tell someone also, even if its just one more person, who will tell one more person who will tell one more person, that's just how it goes. 

It's like the game of telephone when you are a kid, seriously.  One kid tells another kid tells another kid, and all of a sudden the peanut butter sandwich is actually a Peter Pan Hammock!  It's crazy! Who would have thought the classroom was getting a Peter Pan Hammock!!!! How cool is that?  

It's tough, I try to be as good as I can when someone tells me something, but if it's something that truly should not be shared, it's probably best to just keep it to yourself, because no one, and I believe that no one can truly keep a burning secret to them self without telling anyone... 

Psychologists report that keeping secrets can lead to isolation and feeling of loneliness.  So maybe we all divulge secrets in order to maintain a bond with others.  When telling a secret and going through the motions, it is a way of saying "I just only you with this information" which causes a sense of closeness with that individual.  

In other situations, psychologies state that secrets are kept as a way of creating altruistic protection of others.  In other words, the friend sacrifices their own feelings of loneliness and isolation and keeps the secret, putting their friend before themselves.  This friend will hold that secret deep in their pocket as true protection of their friend or family member who told them. 

My opinion: maybe we should all have pets.... I tell my dog and my horse everything (yes, true story).  That way, at least they won't be able to tell another person your secrets. 

Feeling Loved

Every girl likes to feel loved.  That goes without saying.  Whether it's by friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, children, pets... we love to feel loved.  We NEED to feel loved.  Of course, men also desire the feeling of love, but for now, let's talk about the women...

Even though us women share that commonality, though, every woman is different in respect to how they want their significant other to show them love.

For example... some women drool over receiving flowers at work, while others absolutely hate it (very much like myself).

Some women like to be wine'd and dine'd, while others definitely prefer a home cooked meal.

Some (and i have to argue here MOST) women are more than smitten if their man chooses to sweep them away to an exotic island or country for a few days.  Other times, we prefer to snuggle up for a weekend in together, cell phones off and just spending quality time alone.

I have some friends (myself included) that sometimes worry or complain that their man forgets to do the little things, like taking us to dinner, or buying us flowers.  Does that mean they don't love us?  No, not so much. It simply means they are comfortable, doesn't mean they love you less.  Now, with that said, a gentle reminder can sometimes go a long way.  If your man knows you are feeling neglected, a kind hint can sometimes remind them that we need to feel that affection, but rest assured, if you take a closer look, sometimes they are already showing you in other ways.

For example, a message to a friend today from her man:  "I was thinking about things today, and I have to tell you, I really love when you do our dog's voice.  Daddy I want dinner, please please please pleeeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!"

She's thinking to herself: Really?  That's what you had to tell me?  Yes I am sure I sound ridiculous as I often walk around impersonating what the puppy would be saying if he could talk.  I can only imagine it's absurd. But you really just took the time to tell me how much you love it?

That text totally made her day.  Just him caring enough to sit and reflect and take the moment to share that thought with her, unannounced, that's just as good as stupid flowers on our desks ladies.  It does the same thing, it warms your heart and makes you feel loved.

I am not NOT in any way saying that a man shouldn't have to put in effort and can smooth talk his way through avoiding the other stuff.  TRUST ME when I say I like to go to dinner too - really I just love an excuse for good food and vino, but I also like romantic nights out, they are important!  All I am really saying is that often times, appreciating the small things can go a long way to realizing you truly are happy where you are, and so is he.

Cool as a Cucumber (or Not)

What is the way to go?  

Every book tells people something different: Don't show your crazy jealous side or the boy will go running.....  If you show that you don't care at all that won't work either.... Don't let a guy disrespect you, make sure you call them out on it.... Don't let a guy know he hurt your feelings or you will look weak.

Okay People.... WHAT!??!?!?!?!? 

It seems to me that maybe there is a healthy medium between being ABSOLUTELY BONKERS and getting jealous about everything... and the opposite which would be not showing any sort of emotion at all, essentially. 

I feel as though everyone always says "don't show you are jealous, don't act like a crazy person," anyone that has read the book Why Men Love Bitches, Sherry Argov ALSO says:

"When you react emotionally, it gives him a feeling of control. And if you react emotionally frequently, over time he will come to see you as less of a mental challenge. If he can’t predict how you’ll always react, you remain a challenge."

I'd imagine if you act completely insane all the time, eventually your man is going to get sick of your screaming fits of RAGE.  Constantly yelling, constantly jealous is not a way to keep a healthy relationship.  That will only drive him away. 

FAIL!!!!

But then look at the other side of the spectrum.  What about a girl who doesn't care about anything, is always fine with anything that happens no matter what, and never challenges the guy at all?  Then, it's as if there is no emotional connection at all.

For Example, in the movie "He's just not that into you," Gigi goes to a party at her crush's house  (Justin Long) and ends up running around, making zip, helping HOST the party like she is her crush's little sister or something.  At the end of the party it is her, her crush, and ANOTHER GIRL sitting on the couch playing video games.  The crush is completely not into her, he sees her as this friend, no emotional connection at all.  This hurts her feelings and she doesnt understand WHY he doesn't get it.  Well: How would he get it if he has no idea she is angry?  She never speaks her mind and he does not know how she feels.

She sat around ALL night at this party, waiting to be the LAST one left, not letting him know that he annoyed her that he was flirting with other girls all night, and then at the end of the night when she finally said something, it completely caught him off guard and backfired in her face

Him: Hey, thanks for staying 


and helping me clean up.  

I really gotta go to bed.






Her: Is that an invitation?


Him: What?

FAIL!!!!!

So.... being crazy jealous is no good...... being the "cool friend" does not work.....  I guess something in the middle would be best, and picking your battles when necessary.

Samantha in Sex & The City seems to do it well.  Not getting jealous openly however putting her men in their place when necessary.  Maybe we all need to take lessons from Samantha.  

Thoughts!?

Friends are like wine (Sometimes)

The past week has been a very enlightening one to me.  It brings the quote to mind that goes something like:

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."


or


"Some friends come and go like seasons. Others are arranged in our lives for good reason."


After an amazing trip to LA I reflected upon my journey with new friends and my opportunity to see some old friends while I was out there (to be quite frank, one of my first friends in the whole wide world) and it was really crazy to see the past and present and potential future all collide before my eyes like a spin art project, paint of all colors flying everywhere.

I guess I am one of those people that have a lot of "friends."  That word is relative to whomever is using it of course.  Many of my friends could be considered more of acquaintances I suppose, however,  I feel as if they are a part of my life and I enjoy them being in my life, that is a friend to me.  Nonetheless, no matter how many friends I have any regardless of how old or new they are, people that make me smile day in and day out are the nearest and dearest things to my heart.


So, having lunch with my first friend in the whole wide world was definitely the best gift I have received in a long time, and sharing it with my new friend in my life was even more great.  It really was a magical moment for me.


Returning home, back to reality, I had the opportunity tonight to sit with two other very important people in my life, my roommate and my very good friend my graduate school.  My roommate and I had a chance to catch up which was nice because it seems that no matter how close we are in proximity, our lives are always on different paths and we are constantly striving to get together to actually spend quality time with one another.  So, tonight was really great for that reason.  


Tonight we talked a lot about family.  And the conclusion that I  came to tonight is that family, is an integral part of every person's life.  It can not be ignored no matter how wonderful a support system it is, or no matter how burdensome or hurtful those people may be, it is your family and ultimately inescapable.  Family is a different category from friends.  I wish that every person's family could be as accepting, supportive, and loving as mine is, but at the end of the day, your family will never change and you have to love the relationships for what they are.  Some people get those qualities that I am so fortunate to receive from my family, from other places, and that is okay too. It is just really important to understand that every family dynamic is different, and those relationships are never going to go away so its critical to embrace it for what it is, and identify with it. 


My friend from school and I had an amazing evening together.  I call her my intellectual friend, for the reason that we can sit for hours and talk about nothing, yet at the end of the conversation I feel fulfilled in some way, as if we just debated politics or moral ethics.  We really have a connection unlike I have with many other people, and its always quite refreshing to spend time with her, no matter how much time creeps in between our visits, as she is no longer close in proximity.

So, what I think this week has served up on a silver platter for me to digest is that relationships are all unique.  Some are short lived.  Some are more of a journey, whether it is a good one or bad one depends on the people involved.  Some are more of a quest, often short lived, with a sort of mission to accomplish at the end.  And some, are a sort of  cosmic, magnetic attraction that will never go away, you are stuck with these people for the rest of your life and no matter what you do, they will never leave your side.


Goodnight Friends, Near, Far, Old Young... Love You <3    

Mistaken....

I’m mistaken for a flirt when I’m friendly. I’m mistaken for being mean when I’m blunt. I’m mistaken for sad when I’m not among others. I’m mistaken for shy when I’m quiet... 
Assuming gets you nowhere... 


Don't get me wrong... I love to people watch, however, along with people watching comes assumptions.  Those assumptions are probably a good 70-85% incorrect most of the time.


One thing in graduate school that we studied was interpersonal communications, the interactions between two people.  This included verbal communications in the form of words, but not only that, also the non verbal cues that went along with that communication and also the way things are said, not just the actual words. 


Considering I studied these cues for a few years and have read a significant number of scientific studies related to this work, I still find myself interpreting people inaccurately at times, which leads me to believe others most likely do the same in many situations.


Look at the faces below.... assume what you wish... but that doesn't mean it is really what they are trying to portray or how they are actually feeling.

This little kid looks like he is having the time of his life.  We assume he is happy as ever.  That is probably an accurate assumption but never 100% for sure. 

Our Favorite Man Men Character here looks cool calm and collected - but he is kind of hard to read, he could be angry, tired, focused, interested in something he is looking at, bored, this can be easily mistaken for something else without investigating further... 

Look at this chick.... one would think it's quite evident that she is devastated/sad over something.  But put that face in a different setting, say, a wedding, and she could be showing happy tears.  You just never know, that's the point.  


Never Assume Anything.... take the extra steps to ask and find out. 

Is he just not that into you?

I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. 
~ He's just not that into you 


When do you stop pretending something is going to come out of nothing? 


But then again.... sometimes love can't find you unless you let yourself be vulnerable.  Putting up walls doesn't mean being strong.  Walking away because it's the right thing to do doesn't necessarily mean it IS the right thing to do.  Rather, it oftentimes is a sign of weakness.  So, where do you go from here? 

The One Sided Love Affair

I post about Rachel Wilkerson's blog a lot.... this one resonated with me today.... Thanks R.W.!!!!
Rule # 15: Love that which lets you love it.

She says: Even if you don’t gush like I do, I’m willing to bet you do get excited about certain things, in your own way. And I think a really good rule to live by is to only pursue that which allows you to be excited.


Here’s the thing: it’s easy to make decisions on what excites us, and that’s totally not a bad thing. But when you’re approaching school, career, guys, or, well, life, being excited is simply not enough. I’ve learned this year that really feeling happy and satisfied comes from finding a perfect fit because that excitement is mutual.


It’s a difficult rule to apply to dating, but when you do, I’m telling you, you will be SO much happier. So often, girls get so excited about guys (we’re delusional, we know) and the guys are just so “Whatever” about it. A good guy (or girl!) will not be “Whatever” about you — that person will be all about you. And, more important, they will let you be excited about them.

For example, look at this cute little kid....  he LOVES that little kitten.... notice the kitten running in the complete opposite direction.  that kitten has no intentions of turning around at all.  He's headed for the hills! 

When it comes to dating, this is something people tend to have trouble with: finding someone you're really interested in, but making sure they feel the same way.  I have decided to call this the ever so tragic one-sided love affair... you are absolutely head over heels infatuated with someone who just simply does not feel the same way.  

Sometimes, this appears to be the case but is not... but more often this actually is the case and it's a matter of identifying it, and then deciding what to do from there.  A person can accept the fact that he or she loves her significant other more than she is loved in return, but will we ever be satisfied with that?  In Rachel's words, how does one get excited about being with someone who is not excited back?

Will the light ever come in in their heads?  Will they ever realize what they have standing in front of them?  Maybe their feelings will change?  Likely not... if they don't have that attraction, then unless something drastically changes, the person can't force them self to feel something that is not there.  And what if someday, the person gets that intense sense of attraction toward someone else instead, then what?

Call me a hopeless romantic but I have faith that in time I will meet someone who sweeps me off my feet, and that will be truly exciting for both of us.  

That brutal desire.

by Nicholas Magesis

Stella: Stanley’s always smashed things…On our wedding night he rushed about the
place and smashed all of the light bulbs out in the apartment with the heel of my slipper.
Blanche: He did whatttt?
Stella: (Giggling) “He smashed all of the light bulbs out with the heel of my slipper.”
Blanche: And you let him!?!? You didn’t run away? Didn’t scream??
Stella: (grinning ear to ear) I was actually soft of thrilled by it!
(Blanche stares at her in disbelief)
- A Streetcar Named Desire.

This is a scene from the film A Streetcar Named Desire. These lines are said directly after the most memorable scene of the story, where Stanley Kowalski (Marlon Brando) is screaming his wife’s name repeatedly until she comes back down the stairs and launches herself into his arms. Brando in this scene is drenched in water and his own blood, his clothes are tattered to pieces and he is weeping uncontrollably. Moments before, he had just hit his pregnant wife several times in the face with a closed fist, all because she attempted to throw his friends out of their home. He is filled with complete and utter self loathing for what he had just done to his wife, and rightly so. Despite all of this, Stella still cannot bear to be without him. The look of hypnotized love on her face as she descends the staircase to console her kneeling, weeping husband is so poignant that it gives me chills every time I see or read it. If there ever was a way to look up the phrase “Love is blind” in the dictionary, this scene would be played on repeat.

In spite of his glaring faults, Stanley Kowalski has a lot of redeeming qualities as a human being. He’s a veteran of the Second World War, has a decent job, possesses a sizeable intellect and is quite charismatic. This on top of being incredibly good looking and being the poster boy for Type A personalities around the world. But it’s that attraction, that carnal desire which is what draws Stella back to Stanley time and time again. He is her first love, her only love, and she is almost morbidly fixated upon him.

Now even though that may sound bad (as morbid is never, ever used in any kind of positive connotation), it’s really not if you give their fixation of one another a close look. That kind of je’ne se quois love comes around once in a lifetime if you’re lucky, and you better fuckin hold on for dear life if you find it. And that’s what Blanche could never understand, as she’s never truly loved like her sister and brother in law. All of her lover’s have been weak minded, witless feeble young men. Even Harold (Karl Malden’s character) who is slightly older than Blanche but is still a very innocent, naïve man that still lives with his dying mother. Hence why Blanche is so smitten with him; she sees him as just another one of her victims to weave her web of deceit on to entrap them into her self entitled Hotel Tarantula. But because she was able to manipulate all of her lovers into her very own marionettes, she never could truly love anyone. To quote her most famous line, which was then regurgitated repeatedly by the promiscuous character on the Golden Girls who took her name : “I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers”.
As Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys so eloquently sings….
“I don’t wanna go to hell, but if I do….
It’ll be cuz of you.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OPeAEnWg1g

What's Your Resolution?

All of these were found in a Yahoo News Article.... 

Kim Kardashian

"I want to try to be single my whole year of being 30," Kardashian told Rachael Ray. "I've never just dated and done whatever I wanted. I've made a promise to myself and I'm really trying hard to stick to it, but I'm such a hopeless romantic that it's hard."

Jack Black
His resolution is in line with most of America - he wants to lose weight. Jack says, "My New Year's resolution is to drop 50 (pounds)"

Anderson Cooper
CNN's Cooper may have a very successful career, but his New Year's resolution is all personal. "I guess to be a better friend to my friends." he told Bravo, according to ABC.

What is your new years resolution?

It seems that the most common topics include Weight Loss.... Love... and Money.

Find a New Job.... Get a Raise.... Lose 20 pounds by spring break.... Get a new Boyfriend... Breakup with the current Boyfriend.... etc etc etc....

Anderson Cooper's stopped me in my tracks.  I don't think I have ever really considered a New Year's Resolution that focuses on someone else rather than on Me.  Most things I think about are things I want to change in relation to me, of course they often times affect others, but to say you want to do something that directly affects the people around you, possibly even more than it affects yourself, that is pretty major.  I like it!  

My New Years Resolution is just to keep on truckin'...... stay doing what I am doing.... keep my head on straight.... and keep focus on my goals.  Setting ridiculous goals that are unobtainable is just silly and unrealistic.  I know what I want, I just need to remain focused on it and never lose motivation.

What about You?

Don't Tell Me What To Do

The Tourist (2010)
Elise: Invite me to dinner, Frank?
Frank Tupelo: What? 
[she gives him a look]
Frank Tupelo: Would you like to have dinner?
Elise: Women don't like questions.
Frank Tupelo: Join me for dinner.
Elise: Too demanding.
Frank Tupelo: Join me for dinner?
Elise: Another question.
[Frank thinks for a moment]
Frank Tupelo: I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.
[Elise smiles at him]


In The Tourist (2010), Angelina Jolie plays Elise, a very strong headed, beautiful and independent woman.  The funny thing is, as strong as she is, she is still a woman that likes her man to be even stronger. She likes him to be assertive, and not necessarily demanding, but a man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to tell everyone what that is.  

Frank Tupelo: Do you mind me smoking? It's not a real cigarette.
Elise: What?
Frank Tupelo: It's electronic. It delivers the same amount of nicotine but the smoke is water vapor. Yeah, watch.
Elise: That's somewhat disappointing.
Frank Tupelo: Would you rather have me smoking for real?
Elise: I would rather you be a man who did exactly as he pleased.

I believe that what Elise is asking for from Frank is what many women look for in a man.  Of course we have all dated the asshole that tells you what to do ALL the time, but we have all also had that guy that is "too nice."  No guy is really ever TOO nice literally, it is more that he does not have his own backbone or drive to do what HE wants!

For example: I once dated a guy who told me what to do morning, noon, and night.  He would be angry with me if I did not listen and he would find it ridiculous when I deviated from his wishes.  This turned into a lot of fighting and yelling, but I do have to say our relationship lasted for years.  In the end, it was too much and I knew that I would never truly be happy with him, but for some reason the fact that he was controlling, made me feel cared about and made me want to stay with him for as long as I did.

On the other hand: I once dated a guy who was nice as pie.  He would do whatever I wanted, let me do whatever I wanted, and I basically wore the pants.  And to be honest, I absolutely hated it.  I think deep down, I almost felt like he didn't care or something.  It was weird to have SO much freedom, it was like I wasn't even in a relationship.  No passion, absolutely no jealousy, it really seemed like it didn't exist.  This relationship didn't last long at all.

And I think it really comes down to a balance:  no woman really wants to be told what to do all the time.  Controlling someone's life isn't what I am saying is the right way to treat a lady.  My point is, if you want to do something, do it.  If you want to say something, for the most part, throw it out there!  And if you want us to have dinner with you, tell us that!  Have a back bone.  Own your feelings and thoughts.  You don't own us, necessarily, but you do own yourself, so act like it!  We will respect you more and respect the relationship more if we feel like you want to be in the driver's seat at least some of the time.