Good Facebook Read...

I love Facebook, I can't pretend that I don't.  But it is frustrating to see horrible writing and horrible spelling day in and day out.  Did you people go to high school   I think so... why don't you know the difference between your their/there/they'res and your no/knows or your two/too/tos....??? Is it that hard?  Did you sleep through third grade??? Possibly.  The other thing that irks me is the people who just post to post... thanks for wasting 10 seconds of my life that I can't get back by reeling me in to read your post that was a complete waste of "pen and paper" (in a digital sense).  This morning I came across a post from my cousin that was so entertaining I just had to share it, because these days they seem to be far and few between.  (not that I have posted anything all that worthwhile myself lately on Facebook... but Nicole's gets a round of applause from me for sure.)  Enjoy! 

A real quality Facebook Post.... One of the most compelling posts I have read in MONTHS.  From my ever so lovely cousin Nicole :)

For the past 4 weeks i have been sitting on my deck at night and watching one of natures "miracles", trying to beat my lifelong arachnophobia. This is an orb-weaver that I christened "Horatio". Every evening at 9 pm he crawled out and built his web, which, admittedly, was pretty awesome to watch. Then I would witness his lightning fast kills throughout the night until exactly at 4:30 am he would rip the entire web down and creep back into his hidey-hole to sleep the day away like a blood-sucking vampire. He was just a little thing at first, but then gradually he grew and grew into the nightmare-ish FREAK OF NATURE you see in these pictures. EEWWWW! As this happened I started to sit farther and farther away, and to get more and more nervous. His downfall came when one night last week I went to go outside and found he had built a HUMAN SIZED web from the deck floor all the way to the top eaves of the house only 3 FEET away from the door! I have NO DOUBT that after watching ME for all that time he intended to trap me, kill me, and eat me! Thus started a fight to the death which included me spraying him repeatedly with Windex while screaming hysterically, cutting his web down with a pair of shears with a 4 foot reach while screaming hysterically, then attempting to beat him to death with a 2 inch circumference iron bar while he whipped up and down on a single strand of silk (while screaming hysterically). I must have looked like I was pulling major strikes in a wiffle-ball game! Needless to say one of my wild swings finally connected and PLOP, down he went. When he reared his nasty legs up at me in a final aggressive confrontation, my terror exploded and with one mighty blow of my weapon SMUSH, Horatio was no more. RIP, thanks for the entertainment you NASTY DISGUSTING MONSTER.......Now I am moving to another town to escape the wrath of his brethren....