I ain't settling

I think one of the hardest things we battle with is finding what we all consider to be "the one."  Although some of us admit it more than others, of course, eventually, at SOME point in our lives, we all want to find that person that is our perfect match.


The problem is... when is it time?  

When does "Not Settling" turn into Waiting Forever? 


All of my friends say they will never settle.... they want to find their perfect knight in shining armor... well, where is he?  When is he going to turn up?  Does he even exist?

Then I see other friends of mine who appear that maybe the HAVE settled. Are they truly happy?  Just because I think they settled do they think that too?  As their friend, all I care about is that they are truly happy... but are they?

It's scary to think that we could live our lives waiting for this iconic man to come around that really just might not exist.  What if this idea of "the one" is complete bullocks and is just an excuse for those of us who can't open up and let someone in?

Then there's those of us who find a guy we fall head over heels for, but it appears that he may be "out of our league."  We don't want to settle for someone else, because he seems like the man that we want... but in reality, does he even want us back?  If we wait around to find out, is he ever going to step up to the plate? Or will we eventually be left in the dust when he steps up to someone else's plate instead?  There is a difference between taking things slow and going with the flow.... and waiting around for something that is likely never going to happen.

In the movie The Holiday (2006), Iris has an epiphany.  She says:
Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. 


It's horrid but it happens to us all the time.  The one sided affair.  Nature has cursed us with wanting what we can't have, and often times it means wanting someone we can't have, because at the end of the day, no matter how many times they make us smile, or tell us we are beautiful, or says we are fun to be around, he doesn't really feel the same way about us as we do about him.  He is honest to god, just not that into us.  So in this case, we may not be settling on a guy, but we are settling on our our feelings and honesty to ourselves and our dignity.  


There must be some sort of balance here.... some sort of signs that tell us when it's time to let our guard down and let in a guy that we feel is maybe our knight in shining armor.  When he comes knocking at the door, hopefully we all know it's okay to let him in and to stop chasing the ones that will probably never come knocking ever, no matter how much we want them to and no matter how many times we wait home hoping.  Hopefully we will all be able to see the signs when Mister Right is standing in front of us... 


But Nevertheless.... I still have faith that the statement holds strong.... Never Settle...