I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
~ He's just not that into you
When do you stop pretending something is going to come out of nothing?
But then again.... sometimes love can't find you unless you let yourself be vulnerable. Putting up walls doesn't mean being strong. Walking away because it's the right thing to do doesn't necessarily mean it IS the right thing to do. Rather, it oftentimes is a sign of weakness. So, where do you go from here?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
The One Sided Love Affair
I post about Rachel Wilkerson's blog a lot.... this one resonated with me today.... Thanks R.W.!!!!
Rule # 15: Love that which lets you love it.
She says: Even if you don’t gush like I do, I’m willing to bet you do get excited about certain things, in your own way. And I think a really good rule to live by is to only pursue that which allows you to be excited.
Here’s the thing: it’s easy to make decisions on what excites us, and that’s totally not a bad thing. But when you’re approaching school, career, guys, or, well, life, being excited is simply not enough. I’ve learned this year that really feeling happy and satisfied comes from finding a perfect fit because that excitement is mutual.
It’s a difficult rule to apply to dating, but when you do, I’m telling you, you will be SO much happier. So often, girls get so excited about guys (we’re delusional, we know) and the guys are just so “Whatever” about it. A good guy (or girl!) will not be “Whatever” about you — that person will be all about you. And, more important, they will let you be excited about them.
Rule # 15: Love that which lets you love it.
She says: Even if you don’t gush like I do, I’m willing to bet you do get excited about certain things, in your own way. And I think a really good rule to live by is to only pursue that which allows you to be excited.
Here’s the thing: it’s easy to make decisions on what excites us, and that’s totally not a bad thing. But when you’re approaching school, career, guys, or, well, life, being excited is simply not enough. I’ve learned this year that really feeling happy and satisfied comes from finding a perfect fit because that excitement is mutual.
It’s a difficult rule to apply to dating, but when you do, I’m telling you, you will be SO much happier. So often, girls get so excited about guys (we’re delusional, we know) and the guys are just so “Whatever” about it. A good guy (or girl!) will not be “Whatever” about you — that person will be all about you. And, more important, they will let you be excited about them.
For example, look at this cute little kid.... he LOVES that little kitten.... notice the kitten running in the complete opposite direction. that kitten has no intentions of turning around at all. He's headed for the hills!
When it comes to dating, this is something people tend to have trouble with: finding someone you're really interested in, but making sure they feel the same way. I have decided to call this the ever so tragic one-sided love affair... you are absolutely head over heels infatuated with someone who just simply does not feel the same way.
Sometimes, this appears to be the case but is not... but more often this actually is the case and it's a matter of identifying it, and then deciding what to do from there. A person can accept the fact that he or she loves her significant other more than she is loved in return, but will we ever be satisfied with that? In Rachel's words, how does one get excited about being with someone who is not excited back?
Will the light ever come in in their heads? Will they ever realize what they have standing in front of them? Maybe their feelings will change? Likely not... if they don't have that attraction, then unless something drastically changes, the person can't force them self to feel something that is not there. And what if someday, the person gets that intense sense of attraction toward someone else instead, then what?
Call me a hopeless romantic but I have faith that in time I will meet someone who sweeps me off my feet, and that will be truly exciting for both of us.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
That brutal desire.
by Nicholas Magesis
Stella: Stanley’s always smashed things…On our wedding night he rushed about the
place and smashed all of the light bulbs out in the apartment with the heel of my slipper.
Blanche: He did whatttt?
Stella: (Giggling) “He smashed all of the light bulbs out with the heel of my slipper.”
Blanche: And you let him!?!? You didn’t run away? Didn’t scream??
Stella: (grinning ear to ear) I was actually soft of thrilled by it!
(Blanche stares at her in disbelief)
- A Streetcar Named Desire.
This is a scene from the film A Streetcar Named Desire. These lines are said directly after the most memorable scene of the story, where Stanley Kowalski (Marlon Brando) is screaming his wife’s name repeatedly until she comes back down the stairs and launches herself into his arms. Brando in this scene is drenched in water and his own blood, his clothes are tattered to pieces and he is weeping uncontrollably. Moments before, he had just hit his pregnant wife several times in the face with a closed fist, all because she attempted to throw his friends out of their home. He is filled with complete and utter self loathing for what he had just done to his wife, and rightly so. Despite all of this, Stella still cannot bear to be without him. The look of hypnotized love on her face as she descends the staircase to console her kneeling, weeping husband is so poignant that it gives me chills every time I see or read it. If there ever was a way to look up the phrase “Love is blind” in the dictionary, this scene would be played on repeat.
In spite of his glaring faults, Stanley Kowalski has a lot of redeeming qualities as a human being. He’s a veteran of the Second World War, has a decent job, possesses a sizeable intellect and is quite charismatic. This on top of being incredibly good looking and being the poster boy for Type A personalities around the world. But it’s that attraction, that carnal desire which is what draws Stella back to Stanley time and time again. He is her first love, her only love, and she is almost morbidly fixated upon him.
Now even though that may sound bad (as morbid is never, ever used in any kind of positive connotation), it’s really not if you give their fixation of one another a close look. That kind of je’ne se quois love comes around once in a lifetime if you’re lucky, and you better fuckin hold on for dear life if you find it. And that’s what Blanche could never understand, as she’s never truly loved like her sister and brother in law. All of her lover’s have been weak minded, witless feeble young men. Even Harold (Karl Malden’s character) who is slightly older than Blanche but is still a very innocent, naïve man that still lives with his dying mother. Hence why Blanche is so smitten with him; she sees him as just another one of her victims to weave her web of deceit on to entrap them into her self entitled Hotel Tarantula. But because she was able to manipulate all of her lovers into her very own marionettes, she never could truly love anyone. To quote her most famous line, which was then regurgitated repeatedly by the promiscuous character on the Golden Girls who took her name : “I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers”.
As Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys so eloquently sings….
“I don’t wanna go to hell, but if I do….
It’ll be cuz of you.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OPeAEnWg1g
Stella: Stanley’s always smashed things…On our wedding night he rushed about the
place and smashed all of the light bulbs out in the apartment with the heel of my slipper.
Blanche: He did whatttt?
Stella: (Giggling) “He smashed all of the light bulbs out with the heel of my slipper.”
Blanche: And you let him!?!? You didn’t run away? Didn’t scream??
Stella: (grinning ear to ear) I was actually soft of thrilled by it!
(Blanche stares at her in disbelief)
- A Streetcar Named Desire.
This is a scene from the film A Streetcar Named Desire. These lines are said directly after the most memorable scene of the story, where Stanley Kowalski (Marlon Brando) is screaming his wife’s name repeatedly until she comes back down the stairs and launches herself into his arms. Brando in this scene is drenched in water and his own blood, his clothes are tattered to pieces and he is weeping uncontrollably. Moments before, he had just hit his pregnant wife several times in the face with a closed fist, all because she attempted to throw his friends out of their home. He is filled with complete and utter self loathing for what he had just done to his wife, and rightly so. Despite all of this, Stella still cannot bear to be without him. The look of hypnotized love on her face as she descends the staircase to console her kneeling, weeping husband is so poignant that it gives me chills every time I see or read it. If there ever was a way to look up the phrase “Love is blind” in the dictionary, this scene would be played on repeat.
In spite of his glaring faults, Stanley Kowalski has a lot of redeeming qualities as a human being. He’s a veteran of the Second World War, has a decent job, possesses a sizeable intellect and is quite charismatic. This on top of being incredibly good looking and being the poster boy for Type A personalities around the world. But it’s that attraction, that carnal desire which is what draws Stella back to Stanley time and time again. He is her first love, her only love, and she is almost morbidly fixated upon him.
Now even though that may sound bad (as morbid is never, ever used in any kind of positive connotation), it’s really not if you give their fixation of one another a close look. That kind of je’ne se quois love comes around once in a lifetime if you’re lucky, and you better fuckin hold on for dear life if you find it. And that’s what Blanche could never understand, as she’s never truly loved like her sister and brother in law. All of her lover’s have been weak minded, witless feeble young men. Even Harold (Karl Malden’s character) who is slightly older than Blanche but is still a very innocent, naïve man that still lives with his dying mother. Hence why Blanche is so smitten with him; she sees him as just another one of her victims to weave her web of deceit on to entrap them into her self entitled Hotel Tarantula. But because she was able to manipulate all of her lovers into her very own marionettes, she never could truly love anyone. To quote her most famous line, which was then regurgitated repeatedly by the promiscuous character on the Golden Girls who took her name : “I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers”.
As Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys so eloquently sings….
“I don’t wanna go to hell, but if I do….
It’ll be cuz of you.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OPeAEnWg1g
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
What's Your Resolution?
All of these were found in a Yahoo News Article....
"I want to try to be single my whole year of being 30," Kardashian told Rachael Ray. "I've never just dated and done whatever I wanted. I've made a promise to myself and I'm really trying hard to stick to it, but I'm such a hopeless romantic that it's hard."
Jack Black
His resolution is in line with most of America - he wants to lose weight. Jack says, "My New Year's resolution is to drop 50 (pounds)"
His resolution is in line with most of America - he wants to lose weight. Jack says, "My New Year's resolution is to drop 50 (pounds)"
Anderson Cooper
CNN's Cooper may have a very successful career, but his New Year's resolution is all personal. "I guess to be a better friend to my friends." he told Bravo, according to ABC.
CNN's Cooper may have a very successful career, but his New Year's resolution is all personal. "I guess to be a better friend to my friends." he told Bravo, according to ABC.
What is your new years resolution?
It seems that the most common topics include Weight Loss.... Love... and Money.
Find a New Job.... Get a Raise.... Lose 20 pounds by spring break.... Get a new Boyfriend... Breakup with the current Boyfriend.... etc etc etc....
Anderson Cooper's stopped me in my tracks. I don't think I have ever really considered a New Year's Resolution that focuses on someone else rather than on Me. Most things I think about are things I want to change in relation to me, of course they often times affect others, but to say you want to do something that directly affects the people around you, possibly even more than it affects yourself, that is pretty major. I like it!
My New Years Resolution is just to keep on truckin'...... stay doing what I am doing.... keep my head on straight.... and keep focus on my goals. Setting ridiculous goals that are unobtainable is just silly and unrealistic. I know what I want, I just need to remain focused on it and never lose motivation.
What about You?
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